Bad news...

So of all the many things that's happened in the last 7 months, the one event that would actually cause me to sit down and blog about has been my diagnosis of the diabeetus.

Me? Yes, me. The 27-year-old-working out-constantly-watching-my-weight-and-eating-healthy, me. And you have to say it like that too. It's not "diabeeeteeees", it's "diuhbeetus". It makes me giggle, and apparently, laughing lowers your blood sugar.

"How does this happen?" you may ask. Well, according to my over-saturated with medical articles/blogs/books opinion...main causes come from being overweight, having a bad diet, and living a stationary lifestyle.

So basically, you start to look like Wilfred Brimley or your overweight MeeMaw and that's how you get it. As you can imagine, I was a bit surprised.

There are other strange things that cause diabeetus such as major illness, stress and heredity but those are pretty unlikely causes for me, too. Basically, I don't know how I got it. The only thing I can think of is that I've used the Atkins diet many times over the years to control my weight...and pretty hardcore at times. Now, I'm no medical expert by any means, but being on a diet off and on for years that nearly eliminates carbs from your diet, (aka, shuts your pancreas down) would probably give your pancreas permanent post tramatic stress disorder. My two cents. Damn you Dr Atkins.

I got my diagnosis a week ago when I went into the doc for a *ahem* "lady problem" but heard instead (from a very wide-eyed and perplexed doc), "You should be in a coma right now." Not the most positive way to start your weekend. Also hearing that I should have been carted to the hospital immediately to be hydrated via saline drip isn't very comforting.

My blood sugar was 495, which should defiantly get my pancreas some kind of Organ of Honor medal. You're supposed to be in the 80-120 range.

Also come to find my AC1 levels are 15. Average person should be 5. Above 7 and you're considered diabetic. That would put me in the "walking candy" range. Vampires would eat me for desert and my toenails probably taste like jolly ranchers.

Coming back home from the doc I was mess. All I could think about was a never ending flow of needles, testing supplies, insulin pens, carb calculations and meal planning.

All I wanted to do was drink a beer...which, sadly, I couldn't.

So I bought a few books and scoured the mayo clinic site for facts, since the doc had no trifold pamplet with pictures of happy 27 year olds laughing and eating salad that told me what to eat when I went home.

After a few hours of reading, my head was swimming with numbers, calculations, points, and rules. For example, I could have an apple, only if I had it with a meal and if I had figured it into my insulin units before I ate it, and only if my meal was on the fiber-ey side. *sigh* No more just going to the fridge when I'm hungry. Unless it was lettuce, I can eat lettuce all day every day. Joy.

After a few days, and a lot of lettuce, things finally became somewhat routine. Pricking my finger and shots of insulin sort of became the norm. As normal as jabbing yourself with needles before and after every meal can be.

You also learn that you're not alone out there. Diabeetus is almost like a fight club. A lot of people have it, but no one talks about it. We need a secret sign or a nod that lets other fellow 'beeters know who we are. OMG! Diabeetus jewelry!! Cute stuff...not the medical bracelet the doc wants you to wear that explains why you passed out after eating office birthday cake. Crap, just googled it...I'm not the first one that thought of it. My stuff would definitely be cuter. :)

Another side effect of the 'beetus is your constant obsession with your glucose levels, aka, the little number on the finger pricker. I tell ya, that little number can really screw with your emotions. Just when you think all is well...you're counting your carbs correctly, you're having the RIGHT carbs in your body, and you've taken enough insulin to cover those carbs...BAM...260 reading. Then one day you'll have a carby breakfast of fruit, oatmeal, and milk and have a blood sugar level crash 2 hours later and almost pass out. The body works in mysterious ways.

There are some rewards however. :)

I did buy myself a new Coach purse to accommodate all my diabeetus paraphernalia. Momma be packin' one sweet travel medicine cabinet/snack pantry. And all those Clinique bags I've accumulated over the years? Great 'beetus totes. :)

K, maybe that's about the only good thing so far. :P

Overall, it's been an emotional experience, but it's treatable and I have a feeling it'll be around for a while...so I better make the best of it. Bobbie Jones said it perfectly, "Play it where it lies". To that I'll add, "...and pack plenty of snacks."

--A